‘About Emma’

PumpkinHead_Emma_lowres

As I sit here typing this, let me set the scene. Hopefully, it’ll give you a bit of an easier picture as to who I am.

I’m sat my desk drinking Yorkshire Tea from yet another Anthropologie mug that no doubt, my husband to be will have something to say about when he spots it because I already “have far too many” and “you do know you only drink from one mug at a time” and then, when he spots the colour of said brew, he will do a cat shit face and walk off to make his own.

So, tea in hand, I also have reasonable access to a bar of Dairy Milk on my right, and a plate of fresh melon on my left. I am a walking contradiction. I want to so desperately lose the three ‘content’ stone I seem to have gained yet can’t work out why or how, I can’t seem to make sensible life choices easily and just ditch the brown stuff.

I’m also sat in my pants. No bra. Just my pants and a vest top that has two little holes in because it seems I like to walk into door handles quite often and rather than detach myself carefully, I prefer just to keep walking and hope for the best. Both are purchases from Primark because no matter how much I want to treat myself to Victorias Secret sexy numbers that actually match, I’m much more Victoria Sponge and can’t justify spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that won’t make my overgrown bush look anymore appealing than it already doesn’t. (Think BushTucker trial here) not only that, but to me, sexy underwear means no doubt having to get sexy and I’m menopausal. Really menopausal. Which is also code word for having a headaches pretty much on a daily basis.

I guess that’s pretty much put you all off going any further so I’ll finish off by saying I am a Mum (to an almost 15-going-on-25 year old young woman and StepMother to an almost teenage boy who has discovered recently that he’s a boob man and a 9 year old girl who genuinely believes she is a unicorn.

Blogging is my little escape. I speak as I find and say it how it is, I was born without a filter some might say. Recently, I have decided to try and take my blog a little more seriously as writing has not only become an escape but also a hobby and, as I try to adapt and improve my photo taking skills I figure it can’t hurt to actually try and make a proper effort.

So here I am. This is me. In words, and pictures. Pictures that are mostly taken on auto mode or by him indoors because I’m too scared to buy a tripod and start laughing at a brick wall and really freaking out the neighbours.

Thank you for supproting me on this little adventure, anytime you want to comment, feel free, I like to hear your thoughts, but if it’s not positive, please refrain from reminding me how unfortunate my face is or how I have an urgent need for dentistry, because I’ve heard it all before and, although the braces are on, I can’t do anything more on my face than my 452643 make up products a day do already. So maybe tell me you like my shoes instead, or my mug, I always love a mug collection compliment.

Emma

*CAT SHIT FACE – A face one pulls when smelling the obvious*