Alright My Lovers…
I’ve not blogged for a little while, it’s felt like bloody ages to be truthful and I guess I hadn’t realised just how much putting my thoughts down in writing actually helps me to keep relatively sane.
I’m currently sat on the bog, granny pants around my ankles and doing what feels like the worlds longest piss (too much info I know) but, this is the one time I can get a moments peace away from everything and get my thoughts together. I say peace but, for those of you with kids, you know that in about ten seconds, someone is going to bolt through the bathroom door and talk utter crap (see what I did there). When I was a kid, back in the Before Christ days, my siblings would always need a wee at the same time as me so I’d shuffle over and we’d share the loo seat. This has been one of those weeks where I feel like I’ve just needed someone, anyone, to share the loo seat with me and let me get everything off my chest.
You know how I said my peace wouldn’t last? Well Paul has just walked in the bedroom (I’m in the en suite) munching his cheese & onion crisps – the flavour I usually only eat when I’m angry and now I’ve got to kiss that sexy breath at some point this evening (we’re always kissing much to the kids horror) and now after checking I’m ok, he’s gone again and now I can stop digressing.
Anyhooooo, December is always one of my favourite months, it’s a time of year that I love and always attempt to be the first one to get my tree up- last year it was up around mid November. This year however, I’ve just not been feeling it. I was trying to explain it to one of my bosses during the week and for some reason, I couldn’t think of the reason why I wasn’t feeling it. Now usually, I have a gut feeling when something bad is going to happen. So far, at the point, nothing really had gone on…until I got home.
Our boiler had broken for the fifth time in two years (and has now broken again for the sixth time two days later), now realistically it should be easy, living in rented property you just assume the situation would be dealt with but that’s not been the case, so, along with a tonne of other reasons, after throwing myself out of an ice cold shower in tears, Paul and I made the immediate decision to start house hunting for a new, safer property for our family.
Ask anyone who knows me, I’m really hard on myself, no matter what it is, I blame myself for everything and I push myself to hard, Paul is always telling me to stop putting myself down or blaming myself for situations I can’t control. I don’t know why, but whilst Christmas Shopping yesterday, I found myself apologising to George for letting them down and having to uproot them from their home.
He didn’t give a shit. In fact, none of the kids gave a shit. They’re now really excited at the thought of moving house and checking out potential new bedrooms. I thought they’d be as upset as me but the only thing they’re upset about is leaving our lounge as it’s our favourite room in the house. I’ve spent two days feeling almost pissed off that nobody seems as sad as I do, even Paul is taking it in his stride. So I realised I needed to snap out of it, the situation is what it is and there’s nothing I can do except do what I do best and be a good Mum, StepMum and fucking awesome girlfriend, it’s time to put on my cape and get hunting for a new safe haven for my little gang.
By the way, I’m off the loo, I’ve kissed his cheese & onion breath and am now sat on a radiator (taking advantage whilst it’s currently working for however long this evening)
Today we took a walk in the forest, all the way up to the top of the trees and back down again whilst acting like buffoons and generally not giving a shit what people thought about us as we walked past. We weren’t taking life seriously at all and spent the whole hour not talking boilers or Rightmove. I stopped blaming myself for tax inflation, countries at war and the existence of the cheeky girls and just had fun. Loads of it.
The kids and Paul reminded me today that no matter what life throws at us, we are a team, a miniature barmy army and a strong unit. Without them realising, they gave me a kick up my super sized arse (and still growing), they made me realise that a house is just bricks and mortar but the memories will stay with us wherever we go. We have each other, we’ve got years and years more memories to make together with no doubt, a couple more house moves involved but for us, it’s just another adventure, another reason to smile, be happy and remember that most of all, we are healthy, happy and now, looking forward to Christmas, the last one in our first ever home together.
There’s been a massive erection in the house tonight, with balls attached.
Yes…the tree is up at last. (Well one of them) and I am finally feeling festive.
Tinsel tits is back in the building.